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Recently, I succeeded at something that many before me have already attempted. I lost weight! This is not an easy task for anyone, but I was determined.

First, I did my research. I needed a diet plan that wouldn't annoy me too much, and would be easy to remember. This is not an easy task. Elimination diets and calorie counting both leave a sour taste in my mouth. If my diet was going to require too much focus, then it wasn't going to work. Period.

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In the end I turned to Michael Pollan. Michael Pollan isn't a nutritionist or physical trainer, but rather a food anthropologist. He knows more about food, food history, and culinary traditions than most of us. Through his studies, he has made a set of simple recommendations that manages to anger both vegetarians and meat eaters. These recommendations are straightforward and based on his research of how people around the world eat and have eaten through the centuries. Boiled down he is promoting a diet of food that is naturally found in the environment, rather than artificial concoctions. However here is his full recommendation:

"Eat food, not too much, mostly plants."

Now that's a diet that I can remember and follow! Next in my research was the advice that surrounds hacking the process. I know that there is no easy panacea for weight loss, but I am happy to take every shortcut that I can get. The best shortcuts and aids that I could find came from this article appropriately titled "40 no-dieting tips to lose weight." Here is a list of my favorite tips from the list that I regularly use. 

1. food journaling (yes, everyday)

2. getting an online weight loss buddy (I have 33 of them at the free forum I joined!)

3. get a mantra (mine is "I am hungry for water)

4. sniff a banana when you're hungry (I sniff cinnamon sticks)

5. throw your fat clothes away for good (this occurred during my decluttering)

6. make one social outing this week an active one (Aerial yoga, hikes, paddle boarding)

7. eat 90% of your meals at home

8. If you're going to indulge choose fat releasing foods (Dark chocolate for the win!)

9. try hot sauce, or cajun seasoning

10. eat fruit instead of fruit juice

11. drop your milk type- my mom has had me hooked on skim for awhile now

12. snack on a small handful of nuts 

13. get most of your calories before noon

14. close the kitchen for 12 hours

15. put less food out and you'll take less in

Last but not least, I followed the cardinal weight loss advice: Move more and drink more water. I started drinking 8 oz of water as soon as I wake up to perk me up and start me off on the right foot. Then I counted my water intake for the rest of the day. I found that while full on water it's harder to be hungry for food. 64 oz a day is a lot! I felt full! Hence the inspiration for my mantra, "I'm hungry for water." 

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I also got my butt moving. I created a plan that would be too fun for me to fail. This meant two days of Zumba a week, playing dance games at home and running on the other days. Running is the most boring of the three, for me. However, I had a plan. I would listen to audiobooks ONLY when on the treadmill. That way I wouldn't be bored while I was doing it, and I'd be encouraged to keep going to hear the next parts of the story. 

It's quite a large plan, but I wanted to cover my bases. I wanted to succeed. You see, I didn't only attempt this goal to fit into my gorgeous structural Jessica Simpson dress. Losing weight also happens to be a strategy for managing Psuedotumor Cerebrii. Psuedotumor Cerebrii is a mostly innocuous condition that I have, that if untreated can lead to vision loss. I had no choice, I had to lose weight. So, I did. 

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A goal of a true Renaissance woman is to try new things. However, for many things you have to try for longer than one day in order to claim that you have really "tried them" in a way that implies effort.

Take flossing for example. I have been told to floss every 6 months for the last 25 years of my life. So in honor of year 26, I have decided to listen. I decided that this year I would try to floss everyday. And like all lofty goals- this one flopped. 

So, I decided to try for a month. They say that it only takes 21 days to form a habit. (Although apparently "they" is wrong) I even added it to my planner, along with my other goal for the month, meditating. This resulted in the obvious portmanteau for all of your health needs: flossitate. 

Flossitate. 

I piggybacked my habit onto brushing my teeth as was suggested in this article, and decided that I would politely ignore the good advice in this article and this article.

I made a (secret of course) inspiration board on pinterest with inspirational photos for a great flosser. 

See comic source here

Yet I'm still only flossing 80% of the time. The verdict? Though your dental hygienist strongly recommends it, I do not. Flossing is painful, and results in bleeding even when you are past the time period where that should have subsided. It breaks and snaps back at you and can cause frequent wincing reactions. It requires daily effort and I do not condone it.*

*These are the opinions of this author and do not reflect the opinions of dentists, dental hygienists, or anyone with actual knowledge of this field. 

Edit: For really strong advice on picking goals that matter I recommend reading this.

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No poo. What sounds like an anti-diarrheal is in fact a movement toward less frequent shampooing in favor of "water only" (WO) washes or apple-cider vinegar and baking soda washes. I have been advised by many a hairstylist to begin shampooing every other day, and instead scrub with water only on the in-between days (an unsurprising suggestion considering that scrubbing more than once a week only came in vogue in the 1970s). I've tried it, and I'm in favor of any beauty regiment that is in fact lazier than my prior one.

Does anyone else's mind jump right to science fair volcanos when they hear those two ingredients?

However, the No poo movement leaves me with one burning question: what about conditioner? What is the purpose of conditioner? Until now it hadn't struck me that I didn't actually know. Maybe I should be seriously concerned that I was scrubbing cream into my hair without actually knowing the purpose of it. All I know is that it makes my hair stiff and gluey like a hair helmet. 

According to the internet, conditioner  is used to change the texture and appearance of the hair. Some sources have cited it's need to change the pH of the hair, others to detangle, others to moisturize after the stripping caused by shampoo.

However, multiple sources also noted that "fine, untreated, and oily hair can also benefit from hair conditioner, but with LESS frequent applications."(1)

If you have not "treated" your hair with lots of products then conditioner might be for you. If you have not "treated" your hair, then your texture and appearance may be just right as is. It sounds like Occam's Razor doesn't it? The solution is the simplest and possibly falsifiable one.

The purpose of conditioner is to fix the problems caused by other hair products!